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How to make your bird love your partner??

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How to make your bird love your partner??

Postby Daminou » Mon Sep 21, 2020 5:26 am

Hello everyone,
So i am wondering if someone have an idea about how to deal with my issue, which is, as i can imagine a very common one.
So basically i am living with a Severe Macaw since three years and of course it is not the best timing between her hormonal situation and the time my girlfriend is moving to my place. I am with my girlfriend since longer than i have the parrot but she is just moving home and my feather friend is super duper not happy about it. My macaw is jumping on my girlfriend back and bite her to the blood i swear if my parrot had a gun she would kill her lol. My girlfriend never replies with screams or violence even if it hurts a lot so no reinforcement on the bad behaviour.
I gently tried to make her do target training as the parrot is used to do it and it is an hands off technique but it is not even possible. The parrot is just focus on "crazy mode" and has only one idea, is to jump on her and bite her.
I can't keep the parrot in her cage all the time first because it is not right and also because she would scream non stop. So basically i don't know what to do to make things right. If someone has a magical idea i would be glad to read it.
Thank you.

Thank you.
Daminou
Parrotlet
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is male
Posts: 11
Number of Birds Owned: 1
Types of Birds Owned: Severe Macaw
Flight: Yes

Re: How to make your bird love your partner??

Postby Pajarita » Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:16 am

Hi, Daminou, welcome to the forum and I am sorry you are having this problem with your bird. Now, a question: why do you say that the parrot is hormonal this time of the year? Because, unless you live in the Southern Hemisphere, the only parrots that are now hormonal are the short day breeders (like cockatoos, African Grays, etc). Macaws are not short day breeders, they are long day breeders so the bird should not be hormonal right now (all my long day breeders abandoned their nest weeks ago).

Now, if you live in the Northern Hemisphere and the bird is hormonal, you need to re-evaluate her light schedule and diet (because those are the two breeding triggers pet birds use in captivity). The reason why I mention this first of all is that your bird does not sound just 'plain' hormonal, it sounds overly hormonal. Let me explain. 'Plain' hormonal is when the bird, having had a normal circannual cycle for a few years (meaning, the bird's seasons -as in breeding, molting, etc happen when they are supposed to happen and last as long as they are supposed to last), is going through the breeding season (for macaws in the Northern Hemisphere, this happens in Spring). Overly hormonal is when the bird has a screwed up endocrine system and has been producing sexual hormones for years. When this happens, the bird is not only terribly sexually frustrated but also very uncomfortable physically (all the way up to feeling chronic pain) - and it is this that causes birds to be super aggressive. Birds that are 'plain' hormonal would defend their nest and get a little 'testy' but they will not be aggressive to the point of attack and drawing blood.

So, tell us, what is her light schedule and her diet and we might be able to give you a few pointers to remedy the situation.

Aside from that, all parrots are one-person birds. This is pretty inevitable because this is the way nature made them BUT if the bird is content in its life (solar schedule, good quality full spectrum light for during the day, diet, flight, many hours of out-of-cage and more than enough one-on-one time, etc) it might show jealousy toward the partner of the owner but, in time and with patience, it resolves itself and the bird accepts the other person as a flock mate. Your girlfriend training the bird is not going to change anything. It might even make things worse because as far as the bird is concerned, this person has no right whatsoever to ask anything of her. Your girlfriend needs to win her over by praising her, giving her treats, etc. Work (training) is not going to do it, flattery and gifts will. But it takes time and it takes patience - and then it takes more time and more patience. And, if the bird is overly hormonal, it does not work. So the first thing you need to so is to make sure the bird is not overly hormonal and that means re-evaluating her light schedule (this is essential!), her diet (too much protein does it too) and her daily routine to ensure that she is content with her life because a bird that feels that is not getting what it needs is not going to be 'cooperative' - parrots are highly intelligent and use their brains to make deductions the same way that people do so it's extremely hard to trick them or to change a behavior that, as far as they are concerned, it's 100% justified.

But, also, not having a reaction when bit is not the way to go. I know that there are lots of people out there that say that if you show pain, you reinforce the behavior but it's bunk! These animals read our body language, learn to understand and speak our spoken language, can count, understand the concept of time, past and future, use tools, figure out problems and are inherently empathetic AND compassionate... do you really believe that they will confuse an exclamation of pain with reinforcement of a behavior? It's absolutely ridiculous! Parrots are not aggressive by nature - they are not predators and they did not evolve to live in a hierarchical society so there is no aggression gene in them. They only defend and protect (their nests, their offspring, their mates) - and this is what your bird is doing. She perceives your girlfriend as competition for your love so she tries to keep her away from you (because you belong to her and not to your girlfriend) so no PDAs in front of her and tell your girlfriend not to ask her for anything, the bird will resent it. She can talk from afar (praise, praise, praise) to her and she can offer her a treat every now and then (she can be the one to give her the high value item) but no other interaction (and no staring, either - she needs to kind of ignore her most of the time) with the bird until the bird accepts her as a flock mate. When it comes to any relationship with a parrot, it is the parrot that is in charge of the timeline - not the humans. All we can do is strife to make them accept us first, then trust us and, last but not least, love us.

I've only had the trouble you are having with one bird: Zoey Senegal. She was given up because she kept on attacking the wife of the owner. They tried clipping her, keeping her in a cage, etc. Nothing worked so the wife gave the husband an ultimatum: it was her or the bird. He chose her. So Zoey came to live with me and she bonded with me right away -even though her previous and only owner was a man- and she hated my husband because she was used to doing this in her previous home. But, in time, she realized that my husband was no threat to the relationship we had so she accepted him and stopped biting him. He can now move her from point A to point B, make her step up, give her treats, etc without a problem. But it took time because she had to unlearn the behavior she had developed in her previous home (BTW, the wife as not a nice person! I did not like her either).

So, tell us about her diet, her light schedule, her daily routine and we will be able to give you more pointers to resolve this problem.
Pajarita
Norwegian Blue
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 18701
Location: NW Pa
Number of Birds Owned: 30
Types of Birds Owned: RoseBreasted too, CAG, DoubleYellowHead Amazon, BlueFront Amazon, YellowNape Amazon, Senegal, African Redbelly, Quaker, Sun Conure, Nanday, BlackCap Caique, WhiteBelly Caique, PeachFace lovebird, budgies,
Flight: Yes

Re: How to make your bird love your partner??

Postby Daminou » Tue Sep 22, 2020 5:38 am

Hello Pajarita,
Thank you for your reply and the time you spend explaining all that. Her food is essentially vegetables and fruits. also a bit of pellets but not more than 10 pieces a day. She is not free fed so she got food in the morning and food at night and threats are during the day when she behaves well and when i train her. She got treats like pumpkin seeds or pieces of almond when we do training sessions 2 or 3 times a day. I uncover her around 9 in the morning and i cover her around 8pm. I live in France so i am kind of following the natural light of the season so she is up later in the summer and go to bed sooner in the winter. Right now she is in the feather changing period. I think I was saying hormonal in the wrong way what i meant is that i think she is in her teenager state (when she starts to become an adult).

She is out of the cage most of the day and she spend a lot time interacting with me. But as the bird is flighted my girlfriend is now afraid to move around in the apartment when the bird is out because she got bit a few times and of course it is never super pleasant. So the bird is out only when i am around. Hopefully my job allows me to be home most of the time I am a full time magician.

The thing wich is good is that my girlfriend likes the parrot. She is affraid of her but she liles it. except when the bird bites or scream because she does not have what she wants lol.

Thank you for your answer
Daminou
Parrotlet
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is male
Posts: 11
Number of Birds Owned: 1
Types of Birds Owned: Severe Macaw
Flight: Yes

Re: How to make your bird love your partner??

Postby Pajarita » Tue Sep 22, 2020 9:16 am

Well, the thing with the solar schedule is that, in order for it to work, the bird needs to be exposed to both dawn and dusk because it's the different light spectrum that happens during these two daily episodes that turns on or off their internal clock so when you uncover her at 9 am she is not being exposed to dawn - and, unless all the artificial lights are off from, say, 6 pm until you cover her at 8 pm (at which time she would be almost completely asleep by then), she is not exposed to dusk. A solar schedule is VERY hard to keep properly when you have the bird living in a human area. And you need to be very vigilant about the exposure to twilight with tropical birds because they all evolved to breed from 11.5 to 12.5 hours of light -which is, more or less, what she has been getting.

You say she is going through puberty so I assume she is now between 2 and 3 years old - which is, as you stated, a difficult age for all of them not only because of the hormonal surge but also because this is when they lose their 'babyhood pliancy' and become self-assertive. If the bird flies out to your girlfriend to attack her, tell her to wear something 'scary' to deter this. The 'scary' item depends on the bird - I had a very aggressive amazon that was terrified of pool noodles so I used to carry one around until he calmed down but I also had an ekkie that was a holy terror biting feet and legs and was stopped by my wearing bath towels hanging down to the floor from my waist - as well as an abused macaw that required my tying a corn broom to my back with the sweeping side sticking out above my head (and this happened at the same time I had the bad ekkie so I was wearing the towels down to the floor and a big broom sticking up above my head - quite a sight, wasn't I! :lol: ). She could start by wearing a towel around her neck and a big hat on her head (my husband still wears a wool hat whenever the birds ar out) and see what happens... Mind you, she should not approach the bird with the scary gear on - she should only use it to walk around the apartment while ignoring her completely. Parrots don't belong to a hierarchical society in the sense that they do not have leaders or alphas so obedience and subservience are foreign concepts to them but they do recognize 'power' or 'supremacy' in the sense that a smaller, weaker, older bird will 'give in' (as in giving up the best food, perch, nest, etc) to a larger, stronger, younger bird. She needs to become the larger, stronger, younger bird by becoming 'imposing' and 'scary' without actually/directly confronting your bird (we do not want to traumatize the bird, we just want her to stop attacking so she has the chance to learn to trust your girlfriend). And, if and when she gets bit, she should make a big deal of it and CAW CAW CAW real loud while 'going after her' (not actually touching her but displaying -like putting her arms up and moving them in a menacing way toward the bird- so the bird understands that there might be consequences to her action from the 'stronger bird'). See, the thing with parrots is that they are highly intelligent as well as inherently non-aggressive so, given enough time and as long as the care is appropriate and interaction is gradual, they get used to not doing the 'bad' behavior and, in time, adjust to the new flock member. I never allow a single bite or hard nip to go unnoticed because only a weaker bird would do this. I am the stronger bird and, just like a stronger bird in the wild, I make sure they understand this and that it is reinforced until they accept it and learn to trust me so I utter loud exclamations of pain and tell them (in a loud and very firm tone of voice) that they are BAD BAD BIRDS while I make my right hand into a beak and, raising my arm above them, move my hand downward in a chopping motion a few times right on top of their heads (as if 'the beak' was going to bite them). I never, ever touch them but they get the idea pretty quick. The not reacting only makes the bird think that it is OK for them to do this, that they are the stronger of the two. Mind you, this is ONLY used when the bird flies out to attack (as in flying across a room straight to my head with 'blood in its eye' -it's a Spanish expression which means 'determined to hurt')- not when the bird merely bites a hand, an arm or a foot that happens to be near it.

I don't know how many almonds you give her for training but it seems to me that she is not eating enough protein because 10 pellets and a few almonds is very little for a large macaw - especially before and during molt (they need the extra protein to make feathers). Also, make sure the pellets are not the colored ones that contain sugar - parrots end up developing diabetes from them.
Pajarita
Norwegian Blue
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 18701
Location: NW Pa
Number of Birds Owned: 30
Types of Birds Owned: RoseBreasted too, CAG, DoubleYellowHead Amazon, BlueFront Amazon, YellowNape Amazon, Senegal, African Redbelly, Quaker, Sun Conure, Nanday, BlackCap Caique, WhiteBelly Caique, PeachFace lovebird, budgies,
Flight: Yes

Re: How to make your bird love your partner??

Postby Daminou » Wed Sep 23, 2020 2:33 am

Thank you very much for all of those informations. I already noticed that she is affraid of baloons. She is actually already 3years and 2months old. I will compose with everything and i will sort it out. For me it is not possible to let a bird rule the house. She has to understand that her behaviour is not ok.
Thanks again.
Daminou
Parrotlet
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is male
Posts: 11
Number of Birds Owned: 1
Types of Birds Owned: Severe Macaw
Flight: Yes

Re: How to make your bird love your partner??

Postby Pajarita » Wed Sep 23, 2020 9:13 am

Please understand that she does not want to 'rule the house'. Parrots are not hierarchical at all so, as far as they are concerned, nobody rules anybody. You don't rule over her and she doesn't rule over you - or the house. She is simply being a parrot. They get attached to one person and one alone and nothing anybody can do or not do is going to change that because it's a survival of the species trait programmed into their genes. She is doing nothing more than protect her relationship with you. A completely natural behavior. What you need to do is make it so she is not overly hormonal because that is the number one obstacle preventing her from accepting your girlfriend as a flock mate and the reason for the aggression. She is not a 'teenager' - at her age, she is a full adult. Just because wild macaws don't procreate until they are four or five years old doesn't mean they are not sexually mature before that (the youngest macaw successful breeding is of a 1.5 year old male). They actually start courting a potential mate when they are two and they form the pair before they nest and lay eggs so, as far as she is concerned, you are her mate - FOR LIFE!

Actually, you are in luck because the days are now getting shorter so, if you follow the solar schedule with full exposure (meaning a minimum of 1.5 hours but always better if it's 2) to dawn and dusk, she should stop producing hormones relatively soon and she should be OK by this winter. In the meantime, please be patient and ask your girlfriend for understanding as well and ask her to wear something that would prevent the bird from flying over to attack her while also restricting her interactions to only positive verbal ones. As time goes by and she reduces her hormone production, she will calm down and become much more receptive to sharing you with her. It's the only thing that will work out in the long term.
Pajarita
Norwegian Blue
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 18701
Location: NW Pa
Number of Birds Owned: 30
Types of Birds Owned: RoseBreasted too, CAG, DoubleYellowHead Amazon, BlueFront Amazon, YellowNape Amazon, Senegal, African Redbelly, Quaker, Sun Conure, Nanday, BlackCap Caique, WhiteBelly Caique, PeachFace lovebird, budgies,
Flight: Yes


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