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Hello and Request for Help :)

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Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby Wolf » Fri Apr 17, 2015 2:46 pm

There is nothing for you to feel miserable about, nothing at all, but I know that nothing I say is going to alter this. You feel what you feel and feelings do not always match with reason and neither part of you should be ignored, they are both a part of who you are, It is always better to acknowledge both sides of you. Please talk this over with your husband and then find the best path through this together.
Wolf
Macaw
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is male
Posts: 8679
Location: Lansing, NC
Number of Birds Owned: 6
Types of Birds Owned: Senegal
African Grey (CAG)
Yellow Naped Amazon
2Celestial Parrotlet
Budgie
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby mikella » Sat Apr 18, 2015 7:38 am

Just seeing how he is with my husband (and yes, he still has a long way to go, but), we can't 'give him up.' I've always frowned upon ppl who give up animals (unless there's a CRAZY unforeseen circumstance that absolutely necessitates it).... I love him, even if he hates me and it breaks my heart. But I am VERY worried that this may not change and that he'll be miserable living with me (and then I'll be miserable too). He'll be forced to be with me all the time... That's not a happy life, if he always dislikes me. THAT is what makes me worry if this is going to work. I want him to love me... I want him to be genuinely happy when he's with me. Plus obviously, I cannot deal with being attacked for the rest of his life... I can't handle that. I would never feel ok leaving him in his cage and him being "my husband's bird"......

So far so good this morning. I'm going REALLY slow with him, he's on the counter and we're eating and I gave him a box to peek in, he shredded a little paper, keeping hands slow and out of sight. Letting him come up on me when he begs.

My knuckle was peaking out of my sleeve and he found it and started to get pretty rough.... A little 'irritated,' but didn't full-on broken-skin bite, maybe because I redirected... I kept saying "easy bud" like my husband says... Then moved my arm so he would get off. Would you consider this "biting behaviour?" Or no? What would you all do in this case?

He keeps going for where my hands are up my sleeve and getting really rough. And if I offer that part of my arm for him to get up on, he bites it. Sometimes if he get on on my forearm, he will go straight down there to bite.

Today I'm trying to start fresh. Again, like every day.... The last two days I've ended up a mess, mentally by the end of the day.

What my husband finds weird is that he does notice when I leave (when he's with my husband), he will chirp. And get really interested when I come back. But I think that's normal, and he'd do that with anybody likely :( Thoughts?

Also, he often will give me his back when I have him on the T perch... I'm taking this to mean 'not a fan of you, not interested, I'd rather not be with you.' Is this the sort of idea? He gets fluffed up and hunched over, back to me.

Two more questions about behaviour:
Constant soft squawks when he's slightly fluffed up - ?
Random "CHIRP-CHIRP" when I'm singing or talking to him - like the chirp he could do over and over and louder if he was calling us. Does this mean "stop" or "I like it?"


....I don't understand why he dislikes me so much. :( I was reading a bunch on the forum (as always), is it true that if a bird was a "one-person-bird" in the past (as in, attached to one person and didn't like/trust anyone - which was apparently the case with Quigley) that they need to learn that they can have their special person, but still be able to trust other people as well? Is it simply that I am "other?" And therefore he doesn't trust me because he already gave that trust to my husband?

Or just that he doesn't like me.
mikella
Conure
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 177
Location: Atlantic Canada
Number of Birds Owned: 1
Types of Birds Owned: Cinnamon Green Cheek Conure
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby liz » Sat Apr 18, 2015 8:15 am

I think he is telling you that you are second parent. You are in the family just not number one. I have this with Rambo. When my daughter is home Rambo doesn't want me near him unless he wants something. Rambo is MY bird. Before Rachel moved in I was the moon and stars. When Rachel is gone I am back to being "Momma". My mother died and Rambo claimed my aunt as "Grandma". Aunt Betty used to be a target for his terror. (hiding behind toilet and waiting for her)

I am the moon and stars for Myrtle. She claims the "Grandma" but not Rachel. Rachel cannot touch her. Myrtle will beg but not take things from Rachel's hand. It has to be put down for her.
Myrtle has never brought blood but will bite Rachel for the fun of it just to make her yell.
If I am gone Myrtle is a lot different to Rachel and has actually landed on her.
Myrtle sometimes chews on me as if she is teething moving her little tung the whole time. If she chews too hard I say "owe" and she lets go. If she does not let go I use an open hand, which is hard to bite, and push her off. She will fly a loop and come back as if to say "I'll be more careful".

Both of these birds are bonded to the three of us but in different ways.
Wolf probably has the same thing with Mimi.
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liz
Macaw
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 7234
Location: Hernando FL
Number of Birds Owned: 12
Types of Birds Owned: DYH Amazon Rambo
BF Amazon Myrtle
Cockatiels: Shadow Tammy Flutter Phoenix Jackie
Andy Impy Louise Twila Leroy
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby Wolf » Sat Apr 18, 2015 10:20 am

In my opinion the biting that you are currently describing is probably just beaking which is normal, but as is often the case you need to teach him what is too hard and you have already started to do that, you just need to be consistent with it.
I think that in many ways that you are over thinking what is going on and ascribing thoughts and emotions to Quigley that he just doesn't have. I really think that if you will just relax into this and quit worrying every action or lack of action like a dog with a new bone that everything will be just fine.
Once Quigley's hormones are reduced to normal or near normal levels, I think that you will begin to see a nicer more affectionate bird. Even as second choice with this species of parrot you can have a very wonderful and fulfilling relationship. Just let him be who he is and relax, tell him and set him down if he bites too hard and do it every time that he bites too hard and he will figure out that it is his biting too hard that causes this and he will correct it. If you see by his body language that he doesn't want to be bothered, leave him be for a few minutes. Sometimes you don't want to be bothered by others either and often that only lasts for a short time. Study his body language so that you can see the things that he is trying to communicate to you. For the most part biting is a last ditch tactic by the parrot to be heard, which when over time people refuse to understand its attempts to communicate become the first or second choice because he has learned that no one is listening to him. Also if you are wound up and worrying and fearful or uncertain then he is very aware of this and will often respond to you in the same manner that you are feeling. So if you are anxious when you approach him, he will respond as very nervous and perhaps fearful. If you are un sure of yourself, then he will be uncertain as to your intent. So it is very common with these birds that we are the cause of the majority of our own problems with them. If you expect to be bitten then you probably will be bitten. You have to trust them if you want them to trust you. Rely on reading their body language to tell when they are excited or nervous or agitated and don't handle them, this will help you to avoid some bites and allow you to begin to establish a certain amount of two way trust.
Quit worrying and fretting so much and calm down and relax and I am sure that in a short amount of time you will have a much happier bird.
Wolf
Macaw
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is male
Posts: 8679
Location: Lansing, NC
Number of Birds Owned: 6
Types of Birds Owned: Senegal
African Grey (CAG)
Yellow Naped Amazon
2Celestial Parrotlet
Budgie
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby Pajarita » Sat Apr 18, 2015 11:08 am

Ditto and ditto and ditto. Relax, don't take his actions personally, he doesn't hate you or even dislike you (this is pretty much all in your head, just because a bird turns his back on you, it doesn't mean he doesn't want ANYTHING to do with you EVER), he is making GREAT progress (it's actually been a very short time!). Just stick to the schedule and routines, keep on redirecting/distracting him (the 'Easy, bud' is great and both your husband and you should always use the same phrases) and wait for the breeding season to finish. Time has a way of fixing most anything in this life so give time a chance to work its magic. I told you from the very beginning that I would not expect any significant improvement until the end of June and we are only mid-April so be patient and wait a bit. He will continue to improve, you will continue to find ways of redirecting/maneuvering his actions so as to become positive interaction instead of negative and things will be just fine at the end.

You are doing good, Mikella, and he is also doing as good as anybody could hope for under the circumstances.
Pajarita
Norwegian Blue
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 18701
Location: NW Pa
Number of Birds Owned: 30
Types of Birds Owned: RoseBreasted too, CAG, DoubleYellowHead Amazon, BlueFront Amazon, YellowNape Amazon, Senegal, African Redbelly, Quaker, Sun Conure, Nanday, BlackCap Caique, WhiteBelly Caique, PeachFace lovebird, budgies,
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby mikella » Sat Apr 18, 2015 11:58 am

Yes x1000. I'm determined to help/let this work out.
mikella
Conure
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 177
Location: Atlantic Canada
Number of Birds Owned: 1
Types of Birds Owned: Cinnamon Green Cheek Conure
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby mikella » Sun Apr 19, 2015 11:03 am

There's still posts I want to properly respond to, but I'm supposed to be studying... :roll: so it will wait. I rescheduled two of my exams because last week was... not good. So, come Thursday this week, I will be just focused on papers (extensions, ugh... This last while has been really rough with our new little friend...) and will be able to breathe a bit and respond more on here.

Something happened and he got scared today, I had my back turned, getting some mango on a spoon for him, and I think what he did was hop down from the bar part of the counter, to the lower part, and the paper that was there slid, and he fluttered to the floor, SCREAMING. It really scared him. He sat on me for a while afterwards, very quiet. I got him to touch the target stick a couple times and gave him mango, to change the tone after a minute, but he stayed on me very quiet. Then went into attack mode. Luckily my hood was up and I kept my face away. He was NOT happy... Got him to go up on a T perch, clicked and gave him mango, then left him to settle for a while... He's quiet now. I hope he doesn't associate that experience with me. I'm sure he does. Hopefully it will smooth over soon and he'll feel better later.

He's sooooo intent on running to my hands to get them. Sometimes I wonder if it's the right thing or not, keeping them covered. But it certainly saves me from a TON of bites.

He was so obsessed with my husband this morning, wouldn't even focus to eat. He's so tuned into him. And his hands are A-OK 90% of the time...
Last edited by mikella on Sun Apr 19, 2015 11:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
mikella
Conure
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 177
Location: Atlantic Canada
Number of Birds Owned: 1
Types of Birds Owned: Cinnamon Green Cheek Conure
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby Pajarita » Sun Apr 19, 2015 11:38 am

He panicked because he can't fly. If he was flighted, he would have taken it as just a little snag and not think twice about it.

Try a better reward. GCCs love fruit and they will be always willing to eat it but the way to any parrot's heart is to give them a VERY high value food item and that always involves high protein. Try safflower seeds, they like them and they are small enough that you can give a few as rewards while training without messing up the level of protein intake... or a 1/4 almond. I always reserve an item that I know they LOVE as my 'ultimate bribe' (this is in case one of them gets out and I need to get him to come down to me from, say, a tree branch, something that parrots don't usually do once they are out there). I give the ultimate bribe about once a week so they don't get used to it.
Pajarita
Norwegian Blue
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 18701
Location: NW Pa
Number of Birds Owned: 30
Types of Birds Owned: RoseBreasted too, CAG, DoubleYellowHead Amazon, BlueFront Amazon, YellowNape Amazon, Senegal, African Redbelly, Quaker, Sun Conure, Nanday, BlackCap Caique, WhiteBelly Caique, PeachFace lovebird, budgies,
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby mikella » Sun Apr 19, 2015 11:55 am

He's not a fan of almonds as of now, but Safflower seeds are his fav (and actually, come to think of it, that IS what I used right before I put him on his cage since they were in that bedroom). I've been picking them out of his seed mix bc he loves them so much... Right when I got him, I gave him a generic type stick treat that she said he loved, hoping it may occupy him while I went to a class. He didn't touch it then, but at a later time, he went straight for the big white seeds... So I had a feeling they were favourites, and they are. So the seed mix happened to have them, and I pick them out.... Which is annoying and takes FOREVER haha but I use them as treats. How many per day are ok? I usually use around 5, I had been using up to ten per day when he really wasn't eating many of his seeds (at all), but now he's eating a bit more of them so I know I shouldn't use too many... but I don't know how many is too many. How many of safflower seeds per day would be ok for him, do you think?

I'm going to give almond a go again soon. He would likely bite my hand right now, offering that. Sometimes even with safflower seeds, if he's not hungry and he's decided he's had enough of me, he will go for my hand instead of the seed. USUALLY though, he LOVES them.

Made a new batch of food. He likes the grains. He likes barley and wheat kernels (plus already liked quinoa/millet/amaranth). I'm going to pulse some beans in the blender with the veggies bc he won't touch beans and will only eat corn. Silly question, but I had been cooking the veggies that go in the gloop. Is this what you do?
mikella
Conure
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is female
Posts: 177
Location: Atlantic Canada
Number of Birds Owned: 1
Types of Birds Owned: Cinnamon Green Cheek Conure
Flight: Yes

Re: Hello and Request for Help :)

Postby Wolf » Sun Apr 19, 2015 12:19 pm

I use the frozen mixed vegetables from the grocery store to make my gloop. I know that they are blanched before freezing so I just thaw them and let them reach room temperature and then I add them to the hot whole grains and that is all of the cooking mine get. But you can use the canned low sodium mixed vegetables after you rinse them so Cooked vegetables should be fine. You are providing him with at least one or two different raw veggies each day, right?
Wolf
Macaw
 
Gender: This parrot forum member is male
Posts: 8679
Location: Lansing, NC
Number of Birds Owned: 6
Types of Birds Owned: Senegal
African Grey (CAG)
Yellow Naped Amazon
2Celestial Parrotlet
Budgie
Flight: Yes

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