how to tame my lovebird. help!

[pscindy_13]

Hi.

So on sunday I got a black masked lovebird who doesn't even try to bite, he just runs away like crazy. He does come out of his cage on his own but just sits on top of his cage and stare at me.

I tryed food, treats, and toys to get him used to me but nothing helps... my mom tells me to just grab him and pet his head like the store owner did (tamaki, my bird calmed down a lot and justed stayed still in the guys hand without biting) but I'm worried that I will hurt him or just scare him even more. Also I'm scared to grab him like that...

He always look over at me but never get close and will sometimes get away from me when I even try to talk to him or be on alert. Please, I really need some help cause I have no idea what to do

[liz]

No grabbing.

You are a strange person who brought him to a strange house. He does not know where his other people are or where you came from.

The fact that he is coming out and sitting on top is wonderful. Most won't even come out. Yes he is staring at you. He is thinking: who are you, why am I here, where are my friends, are you going to hurt me? Let him sit and stare. When he is ready let him explore. Spend a lot of time in his room. Talk a lot even if you have to read out loud but don't focus your attention on him all the time. Place him at face level way above your hands.

[Pajarita]

Liz is 100% correct. Forcing a little bird to accept our touch is called flooding and is a no-no. You just got him, he doesn't know or trust you so take your time and do as Liz said, talk and sing to him, offer him a treat, etc and soon, he will come to you of its own initiative. Take this time to get him on a good diet (look in the diet section).

[Wolf]

Good advice from Liz. The reason that the bird remained in the guys hand at the pet store is because the bird was too terrified to move. This is a cruel trick that is used to show people how tame the bird is in order to get the sale. The thing is that it works because most first time bird owners don't know about birds, but try to imagine how it would affect you to be so scared that you could not move to save your own life and that is what the bird experiences when this is done to it.
You have had this bird for about a week, which is not very long, so you need to be patient if you hope to build any kind of relationship with this bird. You can't force a bird as all that happens is that you scare the bird and it will never want to be around you and since neither of you will be happy under those circumstances the bird gets the short end of the stick and it did nothing wrong.
I would like you to consider that despite being as small as it is this bird has the intelligence of about the same level as a young child of about 3 to 5 years of age and the emotions of about a 2 year old. This bird is just a baby even though it looks like an adult, it is still just a baby bird. If you will just spend the time talking to the bird without expecting it to do anything it will come to you all by itself once it gets over being scared of you and its new scary strange environment. In order to encourage this, you need to sit a chair near the cage, it needs to be close enough for you to offer the bird an occasional treat, probably millet, the type that is like a little branch, it is called a sprig of millet. The bird will not take it until it is not afraid but you want to offer it anyway, so that it can learn that it is food and that you are not going to hurt it. This may take a few days, a week, a month, but it will take however long it takes for the bird to not be afraid, so be patient. Never try to force your bird and wait for the bird to come to you. Spend a lot of time talking to your bird and singing to it as well, the more time the better and watch your birds posture and how its feather are laying and listen to its noises, these things will in time help you to understand that your bird is trying to communicate with you and some of what it is trying to say.

[pscindy_13]

Thanks guys.

I did place him up on my bed (disabled, on bed most of the time) and he seemed really happy so I'm thinking of keeping him up here in the day time. But now that I'm looking at him, his a lot higher them me but I can't touch him so at least right now I'll just leave him be.

I wish I posted this earlier... I did the "flooding" with a towel to get him back in the cage (had to leave in a rush) and now I think he hates me...! I just get close or call his name and he runs away, far as possible from me. Is there a way I can get his trust again??

I got freash milet right now so I hope that helps.

I think his still a baby tho cause he has gray feathers on his back and a little around the back of head.

[Wolf]

These birds can be very forgiving and at this point he doesn't hate you, he may not trust you right now and is afraid but if you will follow the suggestions already given this will pass in due time and he will start to trust you, he is just scared and in a strange new place that may be dangerous to him, he will adjust. just be patient with him.

[liz]

You need to bird proof your room in case you have to leave in a hurry again you can just close your bedroom door.

Birds don't see glass so you have to have at least a sheer curtain on your window.
Birds like to chew. Don't leave anything in your room that will hurt him if he chews on it.
Hide the TV remote control or at least lay it button side down. Mine no longer has all it's buttons.
You will have to show him how to play with toys. He thinks the computer is your toy and will want to play with it too. Keyboards really suffer.
Look for thing he can get into if you ever have to leave him alone.

[Wolf]

Be especially careful of electric cords, birds can chew through them very quickly and get electrocuted or cause a fire.

[pscindy_13]

Kk. That's a huge relief to hear I was so worried that there was no hope to ever bond with him.

The millet, a banana, or cuttle bone didn't work. I think his too young to know what they are yet. Like you said with the toys. How to I teach him new foods to try and how play with his toys?

I use a tablet si no worries about keyboards, but I did noticed that he like the clicking sound of my tablet lol~

[Wolf]

There is just so much to learn and to unlearn about how we interact with these birds that it truly boggles the mind. Twenty years ago everyone was feeding these bird almost nothing other than a seed diet and that is what most breeders still wean their baby birds to. The problem with this is that they need more than seeds otherwise the end up dying at a young age from liver, kidney and heart disease. Still breeders wean their birds to seeds alone and do not teach the baby birds to eat the proper foods that they need to be healthy , they leave this to the new owner yet to nothing to help the new owner to know what foods these birds require nor do they tell the new owner how to teach their new baby bird to eat a healthy diet. This is not intended as a rant, but as important background information to help you, the new owner of your bird. It should help you to understand what is happening and why your baby does the things that it does.
Baby parrots are born without knowing what to eat or even how to eat or drink and depend on the parent birds to teach it these things, but then the babies are removed from the parent birds in order to make them imprint on humans otherwise they would not have anything to do with us. This imprinting causes the baby bird to think of us as a big funny looking bird and a part of their flock. This imprinting is different from bonding.
So now the baby bird is imprinted on humans, some breeders will return the baby to the parents and co parent them along with the babies actual parents, but due to the nature of their business these breeders are few and far between and this reunion only lasts for a very short time as the breeder wants to squeeze in another clutch of eggs before the breeding season is over. The baby bird by this time is eating a formula designed for them and are supposed to learn to trust their human surrogate parent and they are handled and supposedly socialized so that they will accept and bond quickly and easily to their new owners within a day or two. They often wean the baby bird too fast and too soon, apparently waiting only long enough for the baby to start eating the smallest and softest of seeds before selling the bird or shipping it to the pet store to be sold to you the new owner. At this time they bird has no idea of anything other than formula or a few seeds as being food and safe to eat. On top of this the baby bird is torn away from anything familiar to it so it is now terrified of these new people that it doesn't know and the new environment that it suddenly finds itself in. And more often than not these strange giant people want to touch and play with the terrified baby right away and have no idea as to what is going on with their baby bird.
Now understand that these are pretty intelligent birds and so they try as hard as they can to tell these strangers that they are scared, hungry and even beg for the stranger to sit and talk to them and comfort them. They cry and scream because the are hungry and scared ,begging to be held and comforted or to be fed some formula. They run away because they are scared and they bite for the same reason. They know that they must depend on you and are torn emotionally because they need you and they are scared of you at the same time. And it is worse because they are aware of this, they are intelligent after all.
This should help you to understand some things about you new baby and why he does what he does. Now the sitting down next to his cage with him close to your eye level and talking and singing to him will help him to get used to you and your voice and as he sees that you are not hurting him or poking him and that you are bringing him food and water and watching over him he will begin to relax and accept your presence as a good thing and he will begin to want you to stay close to him. In his natural environment he would never be alone from the time he hatches until the time of his death.
At his age you are now his parent and this is the bond that will be established with you as he learns to trust you and this means that you are the one that teaches him all he should know to survive in this new world. It is you who will teach him to play with toys and how to play with tem and you are the one that will teach what he can eat. Let us begin with food.
The best way by far to teach a bird to eat a new food is the very same way that his parent bird would do it and that is by eating it in front of him and then offering him some of it. Eat some more and offer him a piece of the food. You just repeat this process over and over with each new food tat you want him to eat. You set you dinner time and his to be the same and eat with him prepare him a dish of food and share with him, make sure you have a little extra on your plate that is set aside for him making sure that it is safe for him and give him little pieces of it along with his own little dish of food. For a parrot the eating and sharing of food is a social activity and a bonding activity as well.
This has been a long post so I will end here and we can add toys next time.