How do I make friends w/ my new Lovebird?

[amethyst92]

Hello to all parrot lovers here! This week I brought home Mango, a beautiful Lovebird, and I'm still trying to make friends with her. How do I do it? The first couple of days were a bit tricky for both of us. First, the girl at the pet shop scared her when she caught her. Then I put her a cage with what I thought was a male Lovebird I had bought only a day before. Turned out I actually got 2 girls and not a real pair, so they didn't quite get along and I had to separate them the next day (which meant my mum put her hand in the cage to catch Kiwi, the other bird and Mango also got scared). After that we cleaned the cage and Mango sneaked out and took a 3 hour flying trip all around the living room. At first she seemed scared and disoriented, but then she let as get quite close to her. And once she got back in the cage she actually seemed pretty friendly. But since yesterday she seems a little bit more jumpy again. She screams when we approach the cage and gets really agitated if I put my hand inside. She spends a lot of time on the roof of one of the food trays. She seems to be dozing off from time to time, but gets fully alert if she sense our presence in the room or if we we're in the room but change what we're doing or get closer to her cage. I haven't let her out flying again since I don't know how she'd react... Any advice? I really want her to bond with me, eat from my hand and maybe learn a trick or two for starters... I had budgies before and I got really well with them, especially the last one who, to my surprise, learned how to talk without any training.

[Wolf]

Please don't put your hand in her cage other than as needed for cleaning or to replace food and water. The only thing that you are accomplishing by putting your hand in there right now is to scare the bird and I assure you that she is scared enough as it is.
You should stop when you go into the room that your bird is in so that you can observe your bird and give her the chance to calm down. Just watch her from the corner of your eye so that she doesn't see you as a predator. Notice where she is and what her posture is and how her feathers are laying. If she is holding the feathers tightly to her body ( skinny bird), wait until she relaxes before attempting an approach. Now start talking to her in your normal voice. When she appears to be calm start your approach towards her cage, but take the long way and do not approach directly. If she starts moving or looking nervous at all stop and continue talking to her. Carry some spray type millet with you for possible treats. Keep talking and approach only when the bird is calm. Spend about 10 to 15 minutes with this until you are able to approach the cage with the bird remaining calm.
Now you are outside of her cage and you are talking to your bird and she is calm and relaxed and not against the back of the cage. Keep talking to her and let her come to you inside the cage. It is important at this point that she approaches you and not the other way around. When she approaches you, keep talking and slowly place a couple of inches of the millet in the cage through the bars. Let her take a couple of bites of it before removing it, but keep talking. Do this for no more than three times and then just hang out with her for an hour or so. Repeat this two or three times a day until the bird is taking the millet from you calmly. Then you repeat this process with the door of the cage open and you offering her the millet directly from your hand at the entrance of the cage, still not invading her cage space. When she will come to you and accept the millet from you calmly then you are ready for the next step which is target training.

[amethyst92]

Thank you Wolf. I'll take your advice right away

[Pajarita]

All of Wolf's recommendations are correct but the millet spray only works if they don't have access to high protein food all the time which yours apparently does (you posted you put lovebird food in at night so you can sleep in in the morning).

[amethyst92]

Indeed Pajarita, I feed her mainly with the Lovebird mixes available in pet shops. I gave her fresh fruit and vegies, but so far she hasn't eaten any of them. I also put a seed and fruit snack in her cage, but she hasn't touched that either...

[Pajarita]

And that's the problem, my dear. You need to get the parrot used to you first by keeping it company, talking, singing and offering treats (never putting your hand in the cage of forcing it to accept your presence) but the treat only works if the parrot wants it real bad and the only thing that parrots want real bad are what we call 'high value' items which are ALWAYS some type of high protein food and not acquirable unless it's offered as a treat. If the parrot has access to high protein food all the time, there is no 'high value' to it and he doesn't have to do anything to get it.

[Wolf]

This is the time to assess her diet and to start the change over to a good healthy diet, it will not get any easier than it is right now. This is the time, since it was not done in advance to asses you own schedule and to change it to meet the needs of your bird, it will not get any easier to change later either. This is the best time to begin both of these things. The bird is incapable of changing it physical needs to live on our human lifestyles, so we must change our lifestyle to address these issues for them.

[amethyst92]

No offense here guys, but I guess you don't have anything to do all day than care for your birds. I absolutely love Mango and I'm determined to give her the best home I can, but not anyone can put the bird in room where no artificial light is on in the evening and not everyone can wake up at 6 in the morning. What are people like me supposed to do, give up the idea of having a pet or hire a pet sitter? I know people (one of them is actually a vet) who have raised birds with dedicated food menus from pet shops, alongside fruit and veggies every other day and kept the cage covered according to their own sleeping schedule and the birds were healthy and happy. Ok, let's say I expose the bird to dusk and dawn. They're African birds, right? In Africa days are pretty long. What if I lived in Iceland, where there are only about 5 hours of daylight, and that only during the summer? Wouldn't that affect the bird? And what am I supposed to do? Keep the bird hungry so that she eats the fruit out of necessity? The mix I'm giving her now has seeds, nuts and fruit in it and so far it's the only thing that she's eaten. I gave her apple, banana and bell pepper (without giving her the mix) and she hasn't touched them. I'll keep trying, but I won't let her starve. Right now I'm more concerned about her feeling comfortable enough around me so that she comes out of her cage from some flying/playtime...

[Pajarita]

My dear, there are many ways that people keep animals but there is only one right way and that is the one that Nature determined. This is not our opinion, it's a scientific fact. You can keep a bird eating high protein all the time, exposed to a human light schedule, never allowing any exercise, with bad light, etc and the bird is not going to drop dead in a matter of days, weeks or even months but it's a fact that the animal will not be happy or healthy. Again, we can talk about people's opinions but nature ways are what they are and not a matter of opinion.

Parrots are all undomesticated species and pet parrots have exactly the same physiological and psychological needs as the ones that live in the wild. Unfortunately for them, pet parrots are 100% dependent on their owners for everything and there are no laws to prohibit anybody from keeping them the way the person wants to (people have kept them in closets, in basements, outside, in a small cage with bad food, etc and there is nothing anybody can do about it because, as far as the law goes, they are nothing but property, the same as a table or a chair). We tell you what your bird needs to be happy and healthy but it's up to you whether you follow our advice or not.

And you are absolutely right that keeping a bird the right way is VERY VERY hard... it's expensive, time consuming and labor intensive, and there is no doubt that most people are not willing or able to do it. And that's why birds are not for everybody and why, in my personal opinion, should be kept only by people who love them enough to put their needs before their own desires.

[Wolf]

To begin with, there is nothing that we have suggested to you that would interfere with this birds learning to trust you enough to come out of her cage for training, play or any other interaction with you. The areas that you are having difficulties with are those which are related to your birds health. I understand that these areas do not mesh with most of our human schedules and activities, this simply means that if we care about our birds that we accept the inconveniences of having them and adjust our schedules to give them what they need if we can and in the areas that we can't change then we must get creative to solve the problem so has to give them a healthy life.
We did not choose what these birds need to be healthy and happy or relatively so, but we can do our best to provide for their needs, you would not hesitate if it were your birth baby, because of the bonding as well as the laws and moral stigma attached to doing otherwise. But a bird is just a bird and by law does not have any more rights than a blade of grass. But to me they are living, breathing being possessed of intelligence and emotions that rival my own and in some areas even surpass my own. For me they have the same rights as I do and are even more important to the planets ecosystem than I feel that I am.
My sole purpose for being here on the forum is the birds and only the birds. I see my job as trying to help you to adjust enough to provide them with a good, healthy environment, physically, psychologically and emotionally. You are able to speak for yourself and be heard they do not have this luxury and so every suggestion that I make is always going to be in the birds best interests. I will try to help you understand your birds needs and I will try to help you to find a way to provide those things that they need in order to have a good, healthy life and to help both of you to adjust to each other so that you can have a strong lasting, loving relationship with each other based on trust and respect for each other.
So for what ever reason, you are not going to get up at 6 am or earlier to uncover her cage, and you have her in your bedroom, there is no reason that you can't give her dinner an hour before dark and leave the room with the lights off and return after it gets dark to cover her cage. then you can quietly use the room with low light until you are ready to go to bed at which time you could uncover her cage with the lights off and go to bed. While this does not address the matter of her breakfast it does allow you to give her a solar light schedule as her body needs. All it takes is a willingness to try. Think about this.
I am 60 and I am up at 3 am on almost all mornings and I don't go to sleep most of the time before midnight or 1 am. This is not by choice, it is due to circumstances beyond my control. The point is that I have four very special and to me unique birds living with me and I manage to bend my schedule to give them that which they require and you can too if you want to bad enough.